It’s almost spring! I’m not really a scold by nature; I’d rather be gardening or drinking Bud and watching the Red Sox than chastising neocons. Yesterday’s fulmination against the president has again sated the beast of my syndrome, Blogus Bovinus Wastus, so I’m going to take another short sabbatical from raising your collective blood pressure.
Truly, I’m a very positive person and could pass for a Transcendentalist from Concord. Years ago, on one of my many visits to Ohio, I heard the lame joke that there were only two seasons in that wonderful state: winter and road repair. Sadly, I’ve heard that old wag’s tale repeated about many other locales and many times since.
But there really are only two seasons for optimists. The myth of a four season climate in many parts of the United States is simply hollow for those of us raised on Walden Pond. After pondering the problem for many years, I realized that everyone is out of step but me. There are only two seasons, spring and fall. The solstices are real but the equinoxes are but fiction.
But the solstices are mislabeled. There is no winter or summer for true optimists – other than those who label themselves farmers. Winter is cold and summer is hot, too hot and too cold. If we begin with the premise that the winter solstice is a new beginning – as almost all of our ancestors did all the way back to the times that they didn’t write this wastus down – we can eliminate the need for winter. Naturally, the same impeccable logic in reverse eliminates our need to recognize summer.
So join me in celebrating the new year (lower case) on December 21. We can cavort naked and proclaim the rites of spring, and – like true optimists – our new calendar can continue to recognize all of the primitive holidays eliminated in our hearts. In June, we can repeat the process and welcome the fall and its harvest.
Writing a blog that doesn’t criticize the Used Car Salesman in Chief in La casa Blanca makes me feel very cheerful. Obviously, spring is in the air.
Blog on!
Wild Bill
Optimist in Chief
