Neatness Counts

An article in this morning’s Washington Post shows in how much danger the American public really is from an attack by terrorists. Unfortunately it is an indictment of bureaucrats everywhere and of political leaders, including the Mayor of Washington, DC, the Secretary of Homeland Security, and, most importantly, the President of The United States.

The Department of Homeland Security has taken the time to explain in exquisite detail to the governments of the communities making up the Washington DC Metropolitan Area and the media just how the grant application for anti-terrorist grant money for the region came up short and why the area lost funding in the recent grant cycle. Well there; now we here in Washington know why we won’t be getting the money. I guess that we're expected to feel good about that.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/09/AR2006060901769.html

Unfortunately, the beautiful and clear explanation misses the entire point. The paper work of the local governments wasn’t as good or thorough as those from other jurisdictions, so the department had no choice but to send funds to Omaha (and a lot of other places) and had to penalize the National Capital Area. Pretty much the same situation obtained with New York. Neatness counts and we and they flunked. Too many erasures? Guess so. Case closed!

The only thing that seems to have been missed is that the terrorists really don’t much care about the grant making process or misspelled words in applications; they simply want to blow up the trophies of American civilization – like Washington, New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. Unfortunately, the paper work of at least two of these icons of America failed to fill out the paper work as well as some lower ranking target cities, so DHS had no choice but to direct the money elsewhere. See?

If this were highway grant money it would be one thing, but we’re in a war – ask the Decider – and our main targets are being unduly exposed to attack because of bad paper work. If anyone reading this knows Mike Chertoff or the Decider, could you please assure that they understand that their employees are risking the symbols of the nation and millions of its citizens unduly because some other bureaucrats didn’t write good grant applications.

Is it four o’clock yet? I’m on Team Bud and need to practice.

Blog on!

Wild Bill