Ralphie Rules

As I’ve said many times, the second most disastrous decision ever made by George W. Bush was to choose Dick Cheney as his running mate. That decision led almost directly to the worst blunder ever made in American foreign policy history, the attack on Iraq. Whew! That’s pretty heavy stuff. Maybe I ought to go to the third worst; that’s easy it was putting Dick in charge of finding Dubya’s running mate. And guess what? Only one person in 280 million fit the bill – and we know who that was. As the ship lists from leaks sprung fore, aft, starboard, port, top and bottom, it’s very difficult to see it ending happily for the crew.

Case in point, the trial of Scooter Libby is both horrifying and riveting. Everybody is scrambling to save their butts as the most disciplined administration since that of Tricky Dick Nixon simply implodes and explodes at the same time. (Is that a violation of the laws of physics?)

You’ll remember – those of you old enough anyway – that as Watergate unraveled the same phenomenon was exhibited. Insiders pointed fingers at everyone else to avoid stays at the Graybar Motel, and dimes were dropping on the Justice Department and the FBI like confetti at a ticker tape parade.

Things are so bad that the big bad guy had to come out of hiding and save the turf from the dweebs and geeks in the media and in the prosecutor’s office. For those of us who love to see the Scut Farkuses of the world get their comeuppances. (Note to the very few not familiar with The Christmas Story: Scut was the bully who tormented Ralphie and his buds to the delight of his toady, Grover Dill, until Ralphie turned the tables.)

So Scut, I mean the Vice President, decided to smack down Ralphie, I mean Wolf Blitzer, and show the American public how a real pro handled the media. Sadly for Dick, Wolf Blitzer was in his best Ralphie mode and exposed Cheney for what he is: a bully with nothing to back himself with but bluster.

You’ve all seen the clips of the interview and roared at the cartoons that resulted. Great things are happening in Iraq, and, if it weren’t for Ralphie and his playmates, the American public would see that we’re winning. But Ralphie wouldn’t back down and Scut’s nose got plenty bloodied.

But Cheney’s mistake is far greater than having stumbled on CNN. He’s now a laughing stock and sends no fear into the hearts of prosecutors. He’s going to have to testify in the Libby trial, and, damn, it’s hard to look like a credible bully with a packed nose.

Blog on!

Wild Bill